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Multichem

So my girlfriend cheated on me a week after our anniversary.

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So, that pretty much sums up the article. Basically as off topic as it gets.

 

I don't know how to react. I've never been cheated on, and I've never had a relationship this long before. So there's a lot of new stuff going on here that I just don't know how to handle even in the slightest.

 

Onto the worse part, we are 6 months into a lease and have 6 more months to go.

 

I guess this thread is dedicated to any kind of advice you guys have for me here about the situation. This pertains to how to handle the living situation, how to act around her, how to act in general. I'm pretty numb here and could use some direction.

 

 

 

Edit: This thread is open to any relationship issues anyone is having. Sometimes venting and letting things out helps more than anything, and we all have issues. If anyone needs help, or needs to talk about something, don't be hesitant. With that being said, please keep it clean and not too malicious. constructive criticism as always, and play nice.

 

Thanks guys.

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Eye For Eye...thats the only way they learn, and if she can't learn from treating others how she wants to be treated then you shouldn't even be with someone like that or surrounding yourself with people like that as they only bring harm... in my opinion.

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Dump her if u haven't already, or fucking cheat on her then dump her either way is the right direction. GOOD LUCK   B)  

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Honestly I wouldn't be with someone that cheated on me. If they felt the need to cheat then they probably aren't completely happy with you. I guess it is possible to work it out and get past it though...which is probably what you'll have to do since you have 6 more months on the lease :/

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Eye For Eye...thats the only way they learn, and if she can't learn from treating others how she wants to be treated then you shouldn't even be with someone like that or surrounding yourself with people like that as they only bring harm... in my opinion.

 

 

Dump her if u haven't already, or fucking cheat on her then dump her either way is the right direction. GOOD LUCK   B)  

 

I broke up with earlier after hearing about her cheating on me the first time. And then later on, talking about it, she said that she cheated on me last night. After she lied and said that she was going to her friends house.

 

I think I broke both my hands punch walls.

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Uh, Sigh.. This sucks man. I've been there before and it's never easy to handle. Personally,  once trust is violated it's forever tarnished and I can never fully trust that person again. No some people can look past cheating and move on,.but in my experience I've left the woman immediately and even though it was incredibly hard to leave her, in the long run it was for the best.

 

As for the lease, usually you can by your way out of it. I also had an apartment with the woman who cheated on me and there was no way I could stay.  Being forced into awkward situations when she tries to bring a guy home, or when she doesn't even come home and you're up all night wondering who she is spending the night with.

 

Overall I'd recommend taking a few days to think about it, but no matter what your decision may be you need to make sure you follow through with it.  If you can't trust her, than you can't be with her and the sooner you accept that the sooner you can start moving on.

 

Good luck my friend.

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you take her money and tell her to find another place to live.

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Uh, Sigh.. This sucks man. I've been there before and it's never easy to handle. Personally,  once trust is violated it's forever tarnished and I can never fully trust that person again. No some people can look past cheating and move on,.but in my experience I've left the woman immediately and even though it was incredibly hard to leave her, in the long run it was for the best.

 

As for the lease, usually you can by your way out of it. I also had an apartment with the woman who cheated on me and there was no way I could stay.  Being forced into awkward situations when she tries to bring a guy home, or when she doesn't even come home and you're up all night wondering who she is spending the night with.

 

Overall I'd recommend taking a few days to think about it, but no matter what your decision may be you need to make sure you follow through with it.  If you can't trust her, than you can't be with her and the sooner you accept that the sooner you can start moving on.

 

Good luck my friend.

 

 

you take her money and tell her to find another place to live.

 

I'm planning on moving out, but the easier option of course is to kick her ass to the curb. The lease is in both our names, and so one of us stays. I make twice as much as her and she doesn't have a consistent job. She couldn't handle the burden of the bills and would lose the apartment anyway. I can support everything on my own. There is no logical reason for me to move, and every logical reason for her to leave. But, then again, logic didn't play a role in her recent decision to cheat on me twice (found out about another one LAST NIGHT.), so I'm thinking the easier route is to just leave. Take all my money out of our account, and leave. And let her carry herself and her decisions on her own.

 

I'm done venting. This thread can be closed whenever the Admins would like.

 

Thanks for the support bros. You all mean a lot to me, and I appreciate you all hearing me whine.

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I hate cheaters... its a fucking game, it's supposed to be fun.

 

Let me guess, she was screen peeking. 

 

i only read the title btw

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I hate cheaters... its a fucking game, it's supposed to be fun.

 

Let me guess, she was screen peeking. 

 

i only read the title btw

Oh dill.. Lmfao..

 

Straight up dude, it varies from person to person as to how long you may take to get over her. But follow everyone else advice, as I'd just be repeating. I'd say GGs to your decision though.+

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Good thing you broke up with her, really. Most guys try to salvage it but they're just delaying the inevitable. Dealt with this before as well, here's what I have to say,

 

- You're not going to believe this right now (which is fine because I didn't either), but the best cure is time.

- Get her out of your life as quickly as possible. Only talk to her when you need too (financial/possession reasons).

- FIND SOMEONE ELSE. Don't block yourself away from the world. Another girl that interests you will make you forget her faster than anything.

 

I know that you just broke up with her and it's perfectly fine to just be alone for a bit, but just don't get used to that. I see my friends spend months being worthless because of long term break ups.

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I hate cheaters... its a fucking game, it's supposed to be fun.

 

Let me guess, she was screen peeking. 

 

i only read the title btw

george-bush-gif.gif

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I don't have much of an experience with leases, since mine was month-by-month. However, I want to say that walking out on it could screw you over when trying to get another place... it'd be like walking out on a job, and when your new employer calls around, your old boss tells him you're a douche. I almost want to say you should talk to your landlord, so you don't get fucked.

 

That said, causing financial ruin upon her life seems like totally justifiable revenge and, if you're anything like me, you want the fresh start. I have a strict 'zero tolerance' policy for cheaters. Last time I found out a girl cheated, I sent all the nudes she ever sent me to her boyfriend and he put them up on the projector at their party the next week. I lol'd for weeks.

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Eye for an eye man, every time she does you harm, give it to her rite back, its not good to hold things in as it only brings mental and emotional frustration.

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Eye for an eye is childish. Break up with her if that's what you feel is right. There are cases where extreme long term marriages/relationships work out after such event. If not then break up and move on in time.

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Its just... Stupid. Thats the best word for it. I supported her in every way from financial (I pay damn near all the bills) to emotional to supporting her dreams and aspirations. I treat her like a god damn princess, better than any other guy will treat her. I buy her 2 dozen roses every month, and make sure we go out and do things when I can. Ive changed my work schedule to accomadate camping and hiking and such even though im really not the outdoorsy type (obviously, hence me being on the forums as much as I am), but I did it for her. I would do anything for her. But it wasnt enough, apparently, because she decided to sleep with some guy shes known for a month because, and I quote, "idk I have fun with him I guess..."

 

Like... What? Thats your reasoning for destroying our relationship? For decimating everything we have done and built? For shattering me at the core with such deep pain I cant even function?

 

It doesnt make sense. And I hate it.

 

As far as an update of what ive done about it, well, I havent. Im tired. I just want to go away. I dont want to deal with any of it.

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Eye for an eye is childish. Break up with her if that's what you feel is right. There are cases where extreme long term marriages/relationships work out after such event. If not then break up and move on in time.

 

Eye for an Eye is not childish is any way unless you are applying that belief towards something like work or school.

 

This is a relationship between two friends, there is nothing to lose that has already been lost, you will only gain self esteem and dignity as you are showing the person that you do not accept the way you were treated. Eye for an Eye is natural in this case. If the person responds in a negative way then it is obvious that the person has no respect for themselves or others around them, which i said before...do not surround yourself with people like that, they only bring negativity and harm as they drain your energy.

 

“There are many who would like my time. I shun them. There are some who share my time. I am entertained by them. There are precious few who contribute to my time. I cherish them.” -Anton Lavey

 

tumblr_mn64t3Obwb1srcomuo1_500.gif

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Eye for an Eye is not childish is any way unless you are applying that belief towards something like work or school.

 

This is a relationship between two friends, there is nothing to lose that has already been lost, you will only gain self esteem and dignity as you are showing the person that you do not accept the way you were treated. Eye for an Eye is natural in this case. If the person responds in a negative way then it is obvious that the person has no respect for themselves or others around them, which i said before...do not surround yourself with people like that, they only bring negativity and harm as they drain your energy.

 

“There are many who would like my time. I shun them. There are some who share my time. I am entertained by them. There are precious few who contribute to my time. I cherish them.” -Anton Lavey

 

tumblr_mn64t3Obwb1srcomuo1_500.gif

Quoting the satanic bible. Interesting.

 

Regardless, I agree. But ive never been one to do things harmful to those I love. No matter how badly they hurt me, and especially not in a situation like this. She will learn her lesson through the pain she feels from that which I dont do anymore, not what I will do. She will understand and realize her mistake when im gone. And that will be just as draining as anything I can possibly do to her.

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Quoting the satanic bible. Interesting.

 

Regardless, I agree. But ive never been one to do things harmful to those I love. No matter how badly they hurt me, and especially not in a situation like this. She will learn her lesson through the pain she feels from that which I dont do anymore, not what I will do. She will understand and realize her mistake when im gone. And that will be just as draining as anything I can possibly do to her.

Have you guys thought of an open relationship with boundaries? I know it might sound a little taboo but if you guys can both agree to not do anything more than sex with others every couple 4 months or so it could be helpful depending on how you guys treat it. I mean, it is kinda unnatural to restrict yourself from indulging in your desires as long as they aren't at the expense of others.

 

Then again i'm sure you guys naturally agreed not to cheat lol If she broke her promise to you then i think your doing the right thing.

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jizz on her face when she's sleeping

 

or not, she'll prolly call the cops

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Have you guys thought of an open relationship with boundaries? I know it might sound a little taboo but if you guys can both agree to not do anything more than sex with others every couple 4 months or so it could be helpful depending on how you guys treat it. I mean, it is kinda unnatural to restrict yourself from indulging in your desires as long as they aren't at the expense of others.

 

Then again i'm sure you guys naturally agreed not to cheat lol If she broke her promise to you then i think your doing the right thing.

 

We have talked about an open relationship... mainly because we both love each other and that emotional bond will not only always be present and relevant, but it will always be strong enough to the point that I am hers and she is mine, no matter the extras. And we are both mature enough in the aspect that we can get past the little things and see the big picture of staying close and together. That'll always be the situation. But both of us, in that thought, are still very territorial of each other. and neither one of us want to be promiscuous because, frankly, it's not that fun. Like, I did that a lot in high school and the year of college. I'm kind of over it. It's a hassle and hard to keep up with and I just don't care. So with that being said, nothing is finalized.

 

On note, we had a good long talk today. we decided to continue living together, because neither one of us can stomach the thought of being alone after what we have had. Plus, the hassle of splitting things up and all the things we have in both our names is considerably too much for both of us to want to deal with at the moment, so we are just going to ride it out and see what happens. All boundries are open, there are no restrictions, but we do still love each other and want each other to live the best life possible. So we are going to stay together in a more plutonic relationship. With that said, there will always be tension, and it's agreed between us that it's natural and that we shouldn't hide it or dwell on it. We have history, and we know each other intimately, and to rid ourselves of that bond would be silly. It's not to get in the way of the relationships we develop or our friendship in anyway, but we must still accept that we have a bond that shouldn't be suppressed.

 

As far as living restrictions go, we aren't bringing people home without permission, and they must leave before the other get's home from work "we both work night jobs, so that means 8 am for any girls spending the night, and 10 am for any guys she has over), because if I come home to another guy in my bed, even out of a relationship, he will have approximately 2 minutes to be out of my apartment before I send him over the balcony. She is still mine when I am home, and I am still hers. And I think that's nice.

 

I don't know how it'll work out. I think it sounds good with what we have talked about and gone over and all the things we want are still in play. But we both need to explore other opportunities, and that's very obvious. So we will see how this all goes.

 

So, this is my soap opera life. You guys can go ahead and follow this thread if you'd like updates. And, on that note, if you guys are having any relationship issues, this can be a haven for that. We all need to talk about this stuff, just keep it civil and don't be too malicious.

 

Again, thanks for listening. You have no idea how much this has helped me.

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We have talked about an open relationship... mainly because we both love each other and that emotional bond will not only always be present and relevant, but it will always be strong enough to the point that I am hers and she is mine, no matter the extras. And we are both mature enough in the aspect that we can get past the little things and see the big picture of staying close and together. That'll always be the situation. But both of us, in that thought, are still very territorial of each other. and neither one of us want to be promiscuous because, frankly, it's not that fun. Like, I did that a lot in high school and the year of college. I'm kind of over it. It's a hassle and hard to keep up with and I just don't care. So with that being said, nothing is finalized.

 

On note, we had a good long talk today. we decided to continue living together, because neither one of us can stomach the thought of being alone after what we have had. Plus, the hassle of splitting things up and all the things we have in both our names is considerably too much for both of us to want to deal with at the moment, so we are just going to ride it out and see what happens. All boundries are open, there are no restrictions, but we do still love each other and want each other to live the best life possible. So we are going to stay together in a more plutonic relationship. With that said, there will always be tension, and it's agreed between us that it's natural and that we shouldn't hide it or dwell on it. We have history, and we know each other intimately, and to rid ourselves of that bond would be silly. It's not to get in the way of the relationships we develop or our friendship in anyway, but we must still accept that we have a bond that shouldn't be suppressed.

 

As far as living restrictions go, we aren't bringing people home without permission, and they must leave before the other get's home from work "we both work night jobs, so that means 8 am for any girls spending the night, and 10 am for any guys she has over), because if I come home to another guy in my bed, even out of a relationship, he will have approximately 2 minutes to be out of my apartment before I send him over the balcony. She is still mine when I am home, and I am still hers. And I think that's nice.

 

I don't know how it'll work out. I think it sounds good with what we have talked about and gone over and all the things we want are still in play. But we both need to explore other opportunities, and that's very obvious. So we will see how this all goes.

 

So, this is my soap opera life. You guys can go ahead and follow this thread if you'd like updates. And, on that note, if you guys are having any relationship issues, this can be a haven for that. We all need to talk about this stuff, just keep it civil and don't be too malicious.

 

Again, thanks for listening. You have no idea how much this has helped me.

 

 

I can't even say anything haha your doing the rite thing and still keeping everything fair, i agree 100% 

 

you guys both seem like very smart people, i honestly think everyone should have an open relationship of some sort, it's just unhealthy to deny the things you wanna indulge in especially sex. 

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Its just... Stupid. Thats the best word for it. I supported her in every way from financial (I pay damn near all the bills) to emotional to supporting her dreams and aspirations. I treat her like a god damn princess, better than any other guy will treat her. I buy her 2 dozen roses every month, and make sure we go out and do things when I can. Ive changed my work schedule to accomadate camping and hiking and such even though im really not the outdoorsy type (obviously, hence me being on the forums as much as I am), but I did it for her. I would do anything for her. But it wasnt enough, apparently, because she decided to sleep with some guy shes known for a month because, and I quote, "idk I have fun with him I guess..."

 

Like... What? Thats your reasoning for destroying our relationship? For decimating everything we have done and built? For shattering me at the core with such deep pain I cant even function?

 

It doesnt make sense. And I hate it.

 

As far as an update of what ive done about it, well, I havent. Im tired. I just want to go away. I dont want to deal with any of it.

 

Here's the thing.

 

You're looking for a rational reason as to why this happened, so at least you can have the closure.

 

THERE ISN'T ONE.

 

You won't find one, so don't even bother looking. If you keep trying to think of an explanation that at least lets you have your peace, then you'll keep dwelling on it. You likely didn't do anything wrong, so if you keep going on thinking that you did, you'll never understand why the relationship is over.

 

Accept that this happened for reasons beyond your control, and you'll sleep a lot better tonight.

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