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Jakerdot

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  1. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Ok, THREE ENTIRE LINES OF ALL CAPITAL H'S PLUS THIS ONE BONUS LINE (edit: totally realized the # of lines is completely dependent on your screen size. mobile users, LOL sorry. desktop users though, you WILL feel meeeee) HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LETS. FUCKING. GO. CHAMPIONSHIP SUNDAY for halo 3?????????????? WHAT YEAR IS IT??? #SAUCEY4PREZ2020 #JDOTOUT
  2. Blokes. Let's go for bloke this weekend. I for one, might bloke-out on Grape NOS and vodka. I call it turn-up juice. Cuz it almost sounds healthy. But it's not. It's really, really, really not.
  3. MY DEAREST MOTHER EFFIN' BLOKE, There's no time to waste. Though I'm sure to waste some of yours and mine. Starting now. LET'S GET INTO THIS MOFUH. So I'm sitting here, right? Well, I suppose this is going to be a past tense story.. so in actuality I was sitting there. But I'll be damned if I let this post get derailed by existentialism. Cuz I mean, end of the day are we ever truly sitting where we say we are? Or are we always sitting everywhere in an infinitely spanning time loop where every possible place we could be we both are AND aren't at the same time? There's absolutely no way I would let this post runaway down such a rabbit hole. Speaking of -- CRUDE SEGUES YO -- WE GOT A MOTHERFUCKING HALO TOURNAMENT THIS WEEKEND. AND I MEAN LIKE A 'HALO' HALO TOURNAMENT. Not one of those h5, wait what does the 'h' stand for again? Oh ya, halo? ehhh..... sure. I'M TALKING MOTHER FUCKING HALO. HALO. Like oh I missed my jump and now I'm falling off the map cuz my spartan doesn't know how to grab onto the ledge halo. THAT halo. I'm talking oh I sprinted -- LMFAO JK GTFO WE DON'T SPRINT IN HERE HALO, Halo. We talking ROY's our BOY. We talking boxes of LUNCH. We're literally, in this sentence, talking about Justin and Jason. Two of the nicest human beings I've ever seen on screen dominating the scene. Ok, and this is where we get to the awkward part that I kind of just skipped through in the first parry (paragraph? idk, might sound like a douche but maybe if I over explain the abbreviation it'll fly. parry = paragraph. All I did was add an extra 'r' and then add a 'y' and drop the 'agraph' DM me for more deets if need be). Double skip. Cuz Idk where I was going with that either. Maybe I just wanted to make a parry joke, but that doesn't seem likely. This is all pretty stream of consciousness. Let's move on though, I'd hate for you to think I was stalling due to lack of anything better to say y'know? TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ? FUCK YOU. WE TALKING HALO. WE TALKING BACK. WE TALKING WE. WE TALKING WE HALO BACK. or some permutation of those words. Whole point being, Walshy, is that I suddenly feel 10 years younger. Spry. Nimble. Agile. Mobile. hostile. missile. I don't know how to end this post. LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (nowhere, and everywhere. see parry 1) AND LET'S DO SOME mother EFFIN' HALO'ing. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! -blokeDot out oh p.s. cuz I think I usually do a p.s? Well this is it.
  4. WHAT. THE. MOTHER. F. IS. UP. MY YONDERS So, here we are. 43 years since the dawn of the Halo 5 era, it all comes to an end. A glorious finish. Banners raised, pistols drawn, red bulls cracked, backs smacked, 1000% HALO BABYYYYYYYY. Sure, the last few years have had ups and downs. And side to sides. And loopdy-loops and... jesus christ there's just way too many movement mechanics in Halo these days. *breath* ANYWAYS. I'm pumped. I know this game hasn't been the greatest in the franchise, but I think we can all agree that at least it's not Forerunner 4: The Promethean Chronicles. It's Halo. Might be a bit muddy, little 'retro' for some of us older guard but take away all the bells and whistles and this was at least a step back in the right direction after the dark days of seeing through walls and -- ok honestly..do I need anything more than that example? Whole point being that after 3 years of the roller coaster ride that was halo 5 I'm optimistic for the future and I'm excited to send this chapter off properly. Some of the storylines that came out of this game were the best in the franchise history. I think if you bring the size of the stage players are on now back 10 years we could've seen the same things happening during the Halo CE/2/3 days in terms of scale of events. It's amazing to see the opportunities this game has afforded to some of these players. Lives have literally been changed forever because of Halo 5. Can't really say that much about Halo 4.. I mean honestly the only takeaway from that era is I think Ninja met his wife at an AGL event and something something Ellen Degeneres...? By now, we're all more than familiar with what went poorly with this game and how things could've been better. Heading into this weekend though can we do a Dot a favor and just appreciate that Halo 5 hasn't been all bad. I think Samwise Gamgee's put it best when he responded to what we are we still holding onto after all these years: "That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for." Halo 5 has been a reminder that the franchise isn't dead, it's just confused. I'm optimistic for the H3 doubles tourney this weekend. At the very least seeing the re-emerging faces of some of the most recognizable figures that have faded out of the scene will be amazing. *cough* ROY So, you know the drill folks. Head down to the closest gas station, pick up a little bubbly energy drink, few bags of Doritos and a couple Jack's pizzas and LETS DO THIS THING. Have missed coming in here dearly. Here's to hoping that the future of Halo is better than the past. But like not all the past. Just some of the past. So here's to hoping that Halo's future is > the past < some of the past > the rest of the past? -Jdot out p.s. Fuck Fortnite
  5. I had a dream that my neighbor called the cops on me because I matched up with Naded in Halo 5 and we were just calling everything out at the top of our lungs. Carry on. -jdot Also unpopular opinion but Fortnite is kinda ass. If I wanted to build shit I'd buy legos. Just give me the chief and battle rifle and let me poop on noobs.
  6. GENTS -- apologies for the tardiness, I was baking cinnamon rolls. No jk that literally just provides me for an alibi for this morning, and as a matter-of-fact the aforementioned cinnamon rolls are in the unforementioned (fuck you red squiggles that's definitely a word) toaster. BUT what does this all have to do with my hype hiatus? Absolutely nothing, perhaps a story for another time. POINT IS, IF IM TRYING TO MAKE A POINT, WHICH I BETTER BE GETTING CLOSE TO NOW THAT WE'VE ENTERED ALL CAPS MODE.... IS THAT WHEN A DAY STARTS WITH CINNAMON ROLLS, YOU BEST BELEEEEEEEEE THAT DAYS GONNA BE A GOOD ONE. And good news, I know what you're thinking. CinnaDot, surely you don't have enough rolls to cover a 3 day hype-tastic weekend filled with non-STOP Halo action. But yo, I shop at Costco so what a silly thought you were thinking. Idiot. No jk that's a little aggressive. How would you have known? Anyways -- That's 15 JUMBO, buttery, flaky, cinnamon filled, vanilla icing bathed rolls ready to consume at my leisure. By my calculation that's about 1 JUMB per team attending the tournament. And just as I will be devouring these mouth-watering baked delights, that familiar salivation that tells me a Halo tournament has arrived is also starting to percolate. MLG HALO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS 2018 Dayyyyuuuuuumnnnnnnnnnnnn that felt good to type. So roll one up (take that as you will), grab a beer, perhaps a bag or two of Cool Ranch Doritos and LETS FUCKING HALO. lol cinnaDot, that's a new one... -cinnaDot out ps mannnnnnnnnnnnn I miss Roy
  7. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh M -- is for the way you maaaaaaaaaaaaake me feel L -- is for the way you liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiift me up G -- is for gyros, cuz everyone loves gyros. if you dont love gyros well then what do i know yaaaa it's just me and M.L.G. WHAT THE MOTHER F IS UP EVERYONE. That was just a little diddy I wrote up just now to express my feelings towards the impending return of our almighty savior -- praise be, praise be. I don't know if it's me or the 300 millis of caffeine that are currently coursing through my veins but I. FEEL. GOOD. Let's just do a quick recap of why I'm feeling good. M, check. L, check. G, check. translation: LETS. FUCKING. GO. There's something about that feeling of a fresh roster-mania finally coming to fruition on LAN for the first time. New teams, same dreams, fresh memes. The remnants of my favorite pros are scattered hither AND thither, meaning I am at a complete loss for who I even want to win this thing. I just want to watch some mother effin halo played by the best players in the world hosted by the best tournament director in the universe. Honestly, all overly dramatic hype aside -- this weekend marks the return of MLG to Halo. Ahem, I'll say that again -- (dramatic hype resumed) THIS WEEKEND MARKS THE RETURN OF MLG TO HALO If that doesn't give you chills, you probably don't like gyros. And if you don't like gyros, you can honestly go boltshot yourself. LETS. GO. -jDot out p.s. I was kidding about the boltshot thing. That piece of shit gun can go boltshot itself.
  8. ACCIDENTAL NEG REP -- OMFG -- I DONT THINK IVE GIVEN A POINT OF NEGATIVE REP IN MY ENTIRE CAREER. I DONT EVEN HAVE AN OPINION ON THIS MATTER -- LIKE TOTALLY NEUTRAL CAMP -- YET HERE I AM JUST SHELLING OUT NEGATIVE VIBES. I THINK MY CAREER IS OVER. I'M GOING TO ADOPT PUPPIES -- A LOT OF PUPPIES -- THAT SHOULD BALANCE THIS WHOLE THING OUT jk lol -jDot out
  9. For what it's worth, the arrival of UK casters into the US Halo scene is one of the best things that's happened in recent years. You all seem genuinely passionate and invested into the community, the fact I consistently see a majority of the European casters engaging in these forums is a testament to that. Keep it up chaps, just thought I'd let you know your efforts are not going unappreciated. Sincerely, -chapDot P.s. Imagine Simms & D-Maq casting Halo 3 together... toss in a little Gandhi after he'd finally learned how to speak in front of a camera and maaaannnnnnnnnnnn that'd be a squad.
  10. woah. WOAH. WOAH Do you mean to tell me its T-MINUS 21 days til Orlando and I don't see a speck of hype outside those DANK photos of Poutine?? (sidenote: always thought poutine was slang for poutang. double sidenote: what's the origin of poutang? Am I spelling that right? Ok back to the matter at hand) MLG IS BACK MOTHAF\_/<KERS!!!!!!!! We may not have the Nadeds, the Roys, or...pretty much most of the people I was a diehard fanboy of -- BUT we got the CLAP back. And I'm not talking STDs, I'm talking streamlined, mouth-watering, top-notch Halo action that's about to be drizzled down our gullets like the eager baby birds we are. Not since the days of the icy slopes of wherever X-games was. NVM it was in Aspen I just remembered. Not since the days of the icy slopes of ASPEN have we seen -- nope nevermind just remembered MLG did worlds that year too. ANYWAYS YOU GET THE POINT. IT'S BEEN A MINUTE SINCE WE'VE HAD MLG IN OUR LIVES. I know what you're thinking, jDot aren't you worried someone will notice you're not doing your job right now? Don't worry -- I created a video of me arbitrarily clicking around, opening new tabs and closing them. That's on screen TWO so we're all G. Just wanted to check in and get that hype rolling. Rent is running about $975 a month, the Doc probably didn't create a conspiracy about adultery. Ninja is playing Fortnite. I think that covers the last 30 pages. -jDot out
  11. jDot logs 41FFBJ: 'Twas two days hence Christmas. Not knowing whether I had used the word hence correctly, I proceeded with my post, wary of the increased scrutiny I may now face having abstractly addressed my own word choice. I then paused for a moment to drink a swig of Seattle Dark coffee before remembering where the fuck I was on my train of thought. Oh yes, the post I did or did not make. It is a strange thing, surely, that such a simple sentence can send oneself on an existential journey which belies the meaning of ones own existence. As I read back sir Terraform's assertion, first in my head, then aloud, then loudly aloud, then quietly aloud, I began to question what it all could possibly mean. How could a post I did not write be my worst post ever? Moreover, is that even the question I must be asking at this juncture? Had I written the post? How could I lack clarity in this matter? WAS IT the worst post ever??? What could it all mean? Questions. Questions that needed answering. I soon found myself sitting beside Gandalf in the catacombs of Minas Tirith, ancient scrolls strewn across tables in a manner befitting the desperation for which they were so hastily tossed aside. Faded images of memes could be seen beneath the faint glow of waning candlelight. Volumes of archaic text, everything from records of rent portfolios to the very core of what it means to be Halo. And yet the answers were not to be found. Then, just when hope was dwindling I found it -- the tome of the original forum posters! Surely here lied the answers. I blew off a layer of dust, and opened the cover to find an inscription which read: "To all who have journeyed here, welcome. You will find you have already found that which you seek. What you need is already that which you keep. If you ask, you surely must know. If you know, then why are you here? How can you say that which you did not? But how can you know, that which you cannot? Now, go my child." --- Well that was fucking weird, I admitted to myself. Yet, somehow the words resonated. I knew now what my response must be to the assertion that I had made my worst post ever. ahem -jDot out
  12. THERE'S NOT A CHANCE IN HELL IM LOWER CASING A SINGLE LETTER IN THIS POST. SAW THE ANNOUNCEMENT TODAY AND HAD TO ASK FOR A NEW COMPUTER BECAUSE.. WELL BECAUSE I STRAIGHT UP HYPE SMASHED MY LAST ONE WHEN I SEENT THE NEWS. THEN WHEN THEY GAVE ME THE NEW ONE I SMASHED THAT ONE TOO. EVERYONE WAS LIKE WTF IS GOING ON JDOT AND I'M LIKE YOU DIDNT HEAR?!?! M.L.FUCKIN.G AHEM. SORRY DIDN'T ENUNCIATE THAT PROPERLY. M.L.FUCKIN.G!!!!!!!!! OK THAT'S BETTER. NOW WHERE WAS I. OH YEA SO I JUST STARTED FUCKING SHIT UP LEFT AND RIGHT DOING MY BEST IMPRESSION OF NADED ON A RUNNING RIOT. FLIPPING DESKS, TACKLING COWORKERS, CHUGGING SCALDING HOT COFFEE -- YKNOW, HYPE THINGS. SPEAKING OF, DID YOU SEE THAT NADED IS COMING BACK. IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS ON STEROIDS I SWEAR ON MY 30 MINUTES COMMUTE HOME I JUST HELD DOWN THE HORN THE ENTIRE TIME. IN UNRELATED NEWS IM CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR NEW EMPLOYMENT AND MAY SERVE JAILTIME FOR DISTURBING THE PEACE BUT YKNOW, ID STILL CALL IT A GOOD DAY TO BE A DOT. -JDOT OUT
  13. So i get this call from MommaDot today and she was like, "babyDot I have exciting news!!" and I was like: "YOU KNOW WHERE WORLDS IS AND MLG IS HOSTING?!?!?!" and she was like: "your father and I are going to see a play this Friday!" and I was like: "MOTHER, YOU KNOW I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS RIGHT NOW. HALO IS IN A STATE OF CRISIS AND I NEED TO KEEP ALL LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN IN CASE MY DREAMS CALL AND I HAVE TO ANSWER" and she was like: "Baby I don't want you to get your hopes up like you did at the start of 2016. 'member that? Remember how much momentum halo had? You were sooo excited, baby I just don't want to see you get hurt again." and I was like: "NO MOTHER, IT WILL ALL BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME. THEY PROMISED" and she was like: *sigh* "baby go back to work, your boss has probably noticed this webpage doesn't look like the application you're supposed to be working on" and I was like: -jDot out
  14. -jDot in my walkie talkie game peaked in 7th grade, you'll have to accept a duct taped headset. jDot out.
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